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losing my shit

from Posers by Big Adult

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about

Kevie Bovaird guest stars on the Marimba.
This song was originally written as a straightforward apology song, then I realized how manipulative and shitty it is to communicate with big grand gestures like that, I mean saying sorry doesn't require someone to forgive you, but saying sorry into a microphone with a band playing in front of all your mutual friends kind of does force an I forgive you, and that's not an ok way to communicate. I re wrote the second verse and last chorus to be about that.

lyrics

This apology is coming way too late.
Took me 6 months just to see my own mistake.
Then a few more just to work up the nerve
to finally say these things to you.
I'm sorry for making you think you did something wrong.
I'm sorry for running into someone else's arms.
I'm sorry for losing my shit, pushing you away.
I'm sorry for expecting you to know just what to say,
When I'm losing my mind
when I'm losing my head
when I'm losing my shit
when I'm losing it.
I had to learn how to calm myself down,
and hammer thoughts into patterns that were less round.
I had to re-learn how to breath,
and accept the fact that you might not forgive me.
Every single time I lost my mind
I'd just swear up and down that I was fine
it got so easy to do that I
never thought it'd be so hard to lie to you.
to lie to you.
I'm sorry for making you think you did something wrong.
I'm sorry for expecting forgiveness just for writing this song
I'm sorry for losing my shit, pushing you away
I'm sorry for expecting you to have anything to say to me.

credits

from Posers, released April 20, 2019
Written and performed by Big Adult with help.
Kevie Bovaird played Marimba
Danny sang, played bass and vocoder
Brent Played synthesizers and hand percussion
Mike played drum set
Kevie was recorded by Danny at her house,
everyone else was recorded by Danny in his attic
mixed and mastered by James Garcia at Over the Counter Culture Records.

license

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about

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Big Adult Columbus, Ohio

Danny Lemmon, Mike Dawl, and Brent Lawson play bass, drums, and synthesizers together every week. They derive much pleasure from these interactions.

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